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05 January 2009 @ 03:02 pm
i don't know what to do with you  
Once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 random things, facts, goals, or habits about yourself. At the end, choose 10 people to be tagged, listing their names & why you chose them. You can't tag a person who has tagged you.


i think i drank expired orange juice today.
i like to write very bad poetry about myself and then read it in the middle of the night and say, "yes, that is what it is like."
i buy things compulsively. also impulsively. i am compelled to impulsively purchase things. i was talking to shaun about henry rollins, and he said he used to have a book by him, and i thought that was neat, so i went to amazon and bought three books by henry rollins.
there is nothing i like more than sitting in a small room all by myself.
i like being known but i don't necessarily like being liked. i wish i were more unlikeable.
when i was little, i imagined my life as a movie, starring me, so i always behaved as if there were a camera on me. sometimes, when i am alone, i still act for the camera.
after considering all the problems that sex has gotten me into, i have decided to stop sleeping with people.
i still don't know what i am doing with my life but that's ok.
i keep a dream journal. i think dreams are important.
i love to write. i am trying to write more.

i don't think i have ten friends to tag, but if you read this, consider yourself tagged.

so. back on campus, in my nice quiet dorm room. i went home for a while, a couple weeks of semi-solitude with mom and the kittens. it's kind of nice to go home, but mostly it just makes me kind of annoyed. i guess because i am not 19 anymore, but everything there is pretty much the same as when i was. i didn't really like being 19, and i don't really like being reminded of it.

i came back here a bit early because i really just want some time to close myself into my little room and not have anyone in my face for a couple weeks. that's all. i don't know why people find it so hard to understand, that i like being alone, that it is not boring, that i don't want to spend every minute with them. i've been back one day and already my room has been stormed and already i have to sit down and have that "i still don't want to date you" conversation. again. it's just so tiring, trying to explain myself, over and over, to people who supposedly know me well enough to like me. i'm just tired of dealing with people.

i'm gonna go throw out the rest of my orange juice.
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: head automatica
JKjameskalyn on January 6th, 2009 07:55 am (UTC)
"sometimes, when i am alone, i still act for the camera." Me too. The Office is a bad influence because sometimes I do a Jim shrug to a nonexistent camera if I feel the situation calls for it.
Samcrazy_clari_27 on January 6th, 2009 04:42 pm (UTC)
Oh noes, please tell me it isn't george. You'll have to tell me about it sometime, when you've had enough alone time. If people let you have it.

Your mom's house is like one of those places that is lost in time, or something. It will always be just as it has always been. I love going up there to see your mumma but sometimes being reminded that it is just as it was years ago even freaks me out to the point of needing a klonopin, and I spend comparatively little time up there.

We need to get some good rumors cookin', so people stop liking you.
General Bushytaildangerosive on January 8th, 2009 11:33 pm (UTC)
haha, no, i haven't had to deal with george yet, thankfully. but apparently brittany has still been harboring feelings for me...it was really tense and awkward for a while, but it's better now. hopefully this is the last time we'll have to go through this. but now we're back to her wanting to be around me ALL THE TIME and i'm trying to explain i don't want to be around anyone, even people i like. man. this is why i don't like making friends. there's so much explaining.

i'm still thinking if maybe i want to go see mary for a couple days. i haven't talked to her about it, but i'm gonna, just to see if she has time off and junk. she got a second job! so that's pretty awesome.